So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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