I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize