Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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