operation have a gay friend backfired
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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