I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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