me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize