I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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