I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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