Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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