I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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