he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He felt like a one man threesome
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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