By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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