he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I love having hate sex.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize