Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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