I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize