WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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