he puts the penis in happiness.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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