I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize