maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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