I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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