he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize