we have officially lost it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
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You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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