Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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