and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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