Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize