clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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