how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We just shotgunned beers for America
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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