Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize