i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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