The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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