why didn't you poke me back
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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