Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize