im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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