we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize