Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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