I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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