One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
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UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
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I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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