I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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