If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize