You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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