Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize