If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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