his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
3pm strippers are depressing
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
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When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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