I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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