maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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