just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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