i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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