He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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