Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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