You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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